16th December - Peer Pressure
by Alice Patterson - Schools & Community Worker, Love for Life
Peer pressure, feeling like you have to do something just because your friends are. You likely know what it is and probably at some point in your life have known that feeling. But let’s go further and think what actually gives peer pressure its power? Why does it cause us to fuss over our words? Cause our palms to get sweaty? Cause us to panic and overthink?
The power behind peer pressure is this- we desire to please people! We want to be accepted, liked and maybe even loved. We forget however something much bigger, that we are to please not people but God!
Why should we want to live to please God? Because the God over all creation knows, loves and accepts us. He knows every part of us, the good, bad and the ugly. Yet he loves us, and proof of that is found in the fact that God sent his one and only sinless son to live the perfect life we should have lived, and to die the death we should have died in our place. And when we say sorry for our sin and trust in what Jesus did on our behalf we are forgiven and brought into relationship with God, we are accepted! Our response to God’s incredible mercy to us should be thankfulness and a commitment to live our lives in a way that pleases him! Our desire should not be for acceptance and love from people but from our loving God.
When faced with pressure we need to ask ourselves the same question the apostle Paul did…
Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
When feeling tempted to share a story in a conversation where gossip is already flying think… Am I seeking the approval of man or God? When friends are trying to convince you to go to environments you know aren’t helpful- think- Am I seeking the approval of man or God?
When peer pressure rises, there’s likely a moment of temptation. But let me stop right there and say that temptation is not sinful in itself- even Jesus was tempted! He was led into the wilderness where Satan tempted him. Jesus didn’t give in however, he lived a perfect live and always pleased his father, God. Whilst we are not perfect, we can learn from Jesus’ response to that pressure to disobey God… when Satan tried to tempt him, Jesus’ response started every time with “It is written…” He allowed what was written in the bible to show him how to behave.
So tip number 1: Spend time in God’s word and be guided by it.
If your faced with pressure and you don’t know what to do, get your bible out and look for answers- even ask a more mature Christian to help you see what God’s work says about the area you’re struggling with!
Tip number 2: Be assertive and keep good company!
Once you know the choice that will please God, stick to it and communicate that in a strong and confident way. It may not be easy but true friends should respect the choice you make. If they don’t and the pressure continues think carefully about whether these are people you should be surrounding yourself with. Those we spend time with, will influence us as we are told in
Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Tip number three: Don’t be afraid to stand out, we are called to!
In my own life I’ve known the challenges of wanting to fit in and I can often still fall into the trap of people pleasing, and yet as Christians we are called to live distinctly. We aren’t to expect that we will fit in perfectly in this world or that people won’t be perplexed by the stance we take on different issues but as we are instructed in
Romans 12:2
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
This means you might stand out from the crowd. This means that your choices may be met with confusion, annoyance or even anger when you’re not doing what those around you are pressuring you to do. But, you can trust that God will use your obedience! Standing out will provide opportunities for you to share your faith, to talk about Jesus and even this doesn’t happen you are still pleasing God by being obedient. So pray for strength to stand up to peer pressure and for God to use the stand you take!
And if you make the wrong choice, if you give in to peer pressure, if you make a choice you regret return to where we started- remind yourself that you are known, loved and accepted by God and return to him!
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